Almost every couple gets to point whereby problems seem unsolvable and this is not connected to the fact that:
- you are married or only living together
- this is your first marriage or you are in a blended family situation
- you have been together for a short time or a long time
- you have children or not
- you are a heterosexual or a homosexual couple
- you share the same nationality or not
You are all warmly welcomed!
What do we talk about in couples therapy?
Every couple is unique and has its own hurdles to jump. There are common topics that many couples struggle with and the following statements are often told to me:
- I have no idea how to continue this relationship
- I cannot forgive the affair
- We don´t have sex anymore
- I can´t feel love for my partner
- We can´t talk to each other
- We argue more and more
- We are spinning around in circles
- We would like have a discussion to separate for good
When is the right time to start a counselling process?
Many couples think “We will solve our problems ourselves” or “It isn´t that bad yet!”. While believing that, valuable time goes by. And so couples often open their first session with the sentence: “This therapy now is our last hope.”
“At least 40% of the couples who separate or divorce could have stayed together if they would have asked for professional help early enough” states Martin Koschorke – one of my teachers and a pioneer in his field – after working more than 30 years as couple therapist.
This is why I appeal to couples: Seek help earlier than later!
Let me support this plea with a picture that might make my request clearer clearer. If you have a tooth pain, you go to the dentist early so that he or she might be able to help you keep your tooth. In addition the treatment is shorter and less expensive.
Couples therapy without my partner – does that work?
In an ideal world you come with your partner. Sometimes a partner is not as ready as you are. You may also prefer to get things straight for yourself first.
The most important step is that you start – only you or both of you. It is also possible that your partner joins the process later.
Separating – if you realize its too late for us
Sometimes it becomes obvious you don´t want to continue being together. Separation is a process and takes time. And often it is not easy. I offer to assist in this process. This is especially useful if you have children. You can separate as lovers but you will stay connected as parents.